超级大满贯

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大龄女学车闹笑话 教练原来都是段子手

大龄女学车闹笑话 教练都是段子手

超级大满贯1.WOGANGKAISHILIANCHEDESHIHOU,ZONGSHIFENBUQINGFANGXIANG,YOUQIDAOCHEDESHIHOU,JINGCHANGLAIGENANYUANBEIZHE。JIDELIANDAOKUDESHIHOU,KAICHUQUFANGXIANGPANFANLE,YUEKAILIKUYUEYUAN。JIAOLIAN:NIZHEISHIYAOGANMA,CHUANQINQIQU?

YOULIANDAOKU,JIANQIANMIANYILIANGCHEZIDANGZHULEKUWEI,BIANBATOUTANCHULAI,DUIZHENEILIANGCHEHAN:“AI,NEIWEI,MAFANBACHENUONUO……”JIAOLIANZAIPANGBIANSHUO:“YIHOUNIMAICHEJIUGENTAMENSHUO,WOBUYAOLABA,NENGBUNENGBIANYIDIAN……”

2.YOUGEDANTEXIAODENVSHENG,XUECHE,JIAOLIANJIAOTAPODAODINGDIAN,DAODIANHOUYOUYUMEICAICHACHECHEBIANWANGHOULIU。。。 TAJINGRANXIANSHUANGSHOUWUYAN,ZHUANSHENYIBABAOZHUJIAOLIAN,JIAOLIANDANGCHANGLIANJIULVLE。。

3.XUEKEERDESHIHOU。

WO:“JIAOLIANJIAOLIAN!ZHEIXIAGAIWOSHANGCHUANGLEBA!”(YIYUANSHANGBANMA,ZHANGKOUBIKOUJIUSHICHUANGCHUANGCHUANG……)

JIAOLIAN:YILIANMENGBI。

ZHEISHICONGMINGRUWOLIKEYISHIDAOYOUSHENMEBUDUI……“DUIBUQI,JIAOLIAN。ZHIYEBINGFANLEHAHAHA……”

@#¥%&*QIFENSHUNJIANGENGJIAGUIYILE。

4.本人妹子,今天练科目三上路,路边有一解除限速40的标志,教练问我这是什么标志,当时很紧张就说禁止停车!
教练说那40是什么?
我说禁止停40辆车。
超级大满贯教练非要把学费退给我。。。

5.驾校班上全都是女生,那天跟着教练学上路,男教练带着一车的妹纸学员,非常感慨地说:“怪不得人贩子只拐卖良家妇女,而不拐卖良家妇男啊!把你们带出去,你们都不知道往哪儿跑。。。”
妹纸们顿时脸都绿了。。。

6.左脚从离合上抬起来啊!
抬啊!
你那是假腿吗?!
减速不减挡,车子咣咣响,
超级大满贯“你是来考拖拉机驾驶证的?”

7.挂挡啊!!!
刹车啊!!!
又熄火了!!
不会踩离合吗!
打转向灯啊!
打前灯干吗?
你说你是不是隔壁驾校派来捣乱的??
让另一个教练教你吧
他年纪大不怕你折腾
我还年轻,还想活很久……

8.KANDAOJIAZHAOBAOMINGCHU,GUODUANDEQUWENLEJIAGE,YIQIANDUO,MEIYOUYOUYUDEJIUBAOLE。HOULAICAIZHIDAONEISHIKAODIANDONGCHEMOTUOCHEDE。

9.一天开着车,突然问教练,方向盘怎么有点松 啊,教练淡定地说:“昨天考科二一起过超级大满贯有个学员倒桩把方向盘拽下来,结果挂了。”

10.SANSHISUIZUOYOUDAJIE,LIANDAOCHERUKU,ZUODAOYOUDAOZENMEDOUJINBUQU,ZUIHOU……JIAOLIAN:LAILAI,XIACHE!!ZANLIANGTAIJINQUDELE!!

11.YOUWEI“CAINENGCHUZHONG”DENVSHIKAOLESHILIUNIANJIAZHAO,HAIMEIYOUBIYE。JIAXIAOXIAOZHANGLINBIEDUITASHUO:“BIEHUIXIN,QIANWANBUYAOYIWEIMEIYOUJIAZHAOJIUBUNENGKAICHE,JIZHUJIAXIAOSHINIWEIYIHEFAKAICHEDEDIFANG!CHANGHUIMUXIAOKANKAN!”NVSHISHUO:“QISHIWOSHIZUIYOUSHOUHUODE,BIEDEXUEYUANZAIZHEIDEDAOLEJIAZHAO,ERWOGENYIMINGJIAOLIANJIEHUN,WODEDAOLELAOGONG!”

12.HEWOYIQIKAOJIAZHAO,YOUWEINVXUEYUANSHIYIWEIXIAOXUELAOSHI,XUEDEMAN,BUKAIQIAO,JIAOLIANSHENMEZHAODOUYONGLE,TAHAISHIBUHUIKAI,JIAOLIANWULITUCAOSHUO:“WOJIAONIYIGE,DINGJIAOTAMENYIQUNLE,ZHENGELEISIQISIWOLE!!”DANGLAOSHIDOUSHIXUNRENXUNGUANLE,YIXIASHIYINGBULEBEIXUN,DANGCHANGDINGHUIQU:“NIXIONGSHENMEA,SUANSHENMEBENSHI!”JIEGUO.....JIEGUOJIUSHIJIAOLIANXIACHEXIUXI,HEBIERENLIAOTIAN。SHENGTAYIGERENFENGZHONGLINGLUAN,HAOHOUHUI,QIANWANBUYAOHEJIAOLIANBIXIONG。ZHEJILEJINIBAKE。

超级大满贯13.LIANXIDAOCHEYIKUSHI,JIAOLIANCHUHENZHAO,RANGXUEYUANBAZIJIDESHOUJIFANGZAIDIMIANHUANGXIANSHANG,DAOCHESHAOPIANYIDIAN,SHOUJIJIUFEILE。YOUDEGANCUITAO100KUAIQIANFANGZAIHUANGXIANSHANG,YADAOLEJIUMEISHOU!HAIBIESHUO,LIANCHEXIAOGUOZHENBUCUO!

14.LIANXIsWANLUDESHIHOU,CHELUNZHENGZHENGQIQIYAZHEXIANZOU,JIAOLIANQIJILE,BATOUNIUYIBIANQULE。PANGBIANYOUGEJIAOLIANDIAOKANCHAOFENGDAO:“NIMENZHEISHILIANSHENMENI?ZHEIJISHU。。。”“YAXIANWANNI,ZHEIJISHUKAODANBIANQIAOKENDINGGUO,WODOUKAOBUGUOTA。”JIAOLIANXINGZAILEHUODAO。

15.XUECHE14NIANBUGUODENVXUEYUAN:“BAIBAILEJIAXIAO,JIEJUEDINGBUXUECHELE。”

超级大满贯MOUJIAXIAODEZHANGXIAOZHANG,WOZHENVXUEYUANDESHOU,SONGLEYIKOUQI,“NIJUEDINGBUXUELE,WOYEFANGXINLE!”

16.YINVRENXUEKAICHEFEICHANGJINZHANG,JIAOLIANQIANDINGWANZHU:“YUDAOJINJISHIHOULIMAZHUAZHUSHOUCHA,———CHACHE”,NVZIZHENGRIDOUBUWANGJIZHEIDIAN,WANSHANGSHUIJUEMENGJIANZIJIKAICHEDAOLEXUANYABIAN,QINGJIZHIXIALIMACHACHE,LAOGONGYISHENGCANJIAOBATACONGMENGLIJINGXING,YUANLAITAHAIJINJINWOZHUTALAOGONGSHENSHANGDENEIGE“SHOUCHA“

17.JINTIANDAOJIAXIAOWOXINGCHONGCHONGDIGENSHIFUSHUO,WOZHEILIANGTIANMEISHI,ZONGQUKAIKADINGCHEZHAOJIASHIDEGANJUE。SHIFUMENGXILEYIKOUYAN,DANDANDISHUO:"SUANNIHAIYOUDIANNAOZI,YIQIANYOUGENVWAZHENGTIANQUNAPENGPENGCHELIANSHOU,WOHANTADADAOCHEDANGDESHIHOU,TAZHIJIEBAFANGXIANGPANZHUANLEYIQUAN…"

18.GANGQULIANCHEDIYITIAN,JIAOLIANRANGZIJIKAIYIHUI,SHANGCHEDESHIHOUTAIJINZHANG,BAANQUANDAICHAZAILEFUJIADEKAKOULI,WOSHUO:“JIAOLIAN,WOZHUNBEIHAOLE。”HAINAMENJIAOLIANZABUXIANQUANDAI。KAOGUANKANLEWOYIYANSHUO:“NIGAOXINGJIUHAO,BUYONGKAOLVWODEGANSHOU…”

19.ZAOSHILAINIANDEJIAOLIAN,PIQIHUOBAO,JINGCHANGYOUMAXUEYUANDESHI,YIRIJIAOLIANJIAOBAIMIJIAJIANDANG,NVXUEYUANKAICHE:“CAILIHE,GUAYIDANG,QINGTAILIHE,CAIYOUMEN,ZOU,AIZOU,DUIDUI,ERDANG……ZOU,SANDANG……SIDANG……WUDANG……MANDIAN,MANDIAN……MANDIAN!!WOCAOMANDIAN!WOCAOCAICHACHE!SHOUBIETMWUYANJINGA!WOZHUFANGXIANGPAN!WO……CAO!NI MA………………QIANG!QIANG!”

20.在驾校、练倒库、侧方位的时候都不用系安全带、所以我们都没系过、有天要跑大圈这必须要系安全带的、我们班一同学上车教练问:会系安全带不?她答:会啊!这时教练就看着她把安全带套在脖子上。教练看了大概有一分钟、冒出来一句、你这是要上吊吗?yzjry.com

[时间:2017-11-07]
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